Rap Monks

As Simon is railing against the ridiculosity of the "chickens" he just saw doing In The Brood, a certain mouse by the name of Pinky, holding the Photonic Virus Activator in his hot little paw, sneaks up behind him, and flashes the PVA straight in his face. Stunned, he collapses into his chair, shaking his head to clear it. Suddenly, he looks up and says, "That chicken act was one of the best I've ever seen! And you know what I'd like to see more of? Those monks!"

Brian looks at him in alarm. "Are you okay, Simon?" "I'm feeling great!" Simon replies. "Bring those monks out!"

As the monks (Kelley Burke, Deb Endres, Lisa Evans, Travis Fry, Lindsay Koop, Holly Markley, Sarah Schmidt, Jon Shafer, Karen Sutula, Stephanie Trinemeyer, Desiree Wicker, Tonia Wilson) once more take the stage, Brother Leo (Dave Arns) greets Simon warmly. Simon notes, "I see your vow of silence has elapsed." "Yes," Leo replies. "Sorry about that. It was a time-zone glitch between here and Vegas. Our monastery is in Vegas, you know. It's where we play games of chants."

"Can you do another song for us?" Simon asks eagerly. Leo nods. "Sure. We can do that." The monks take their place on stage and the lights dim. The audience is treated to a medley composed of five segments: a Gregorian chant entitled Occuli Omnium ("The All-Seeing Eye"), which segues into Bill Withers' Lean On Me, which segues into a rap number by Carman, called Come Into This House, during which the monks bust some moves and four featured hip-hoppers (Travis Fry, Jon Shafer, Karen Sutula, Desiree Wicker) really shine. Then, back to Lean On Me, and it finally fades out with Occuli Omnium.

As the final strains of Occuli Omnium fade, the lights slowly do the same. The a little glimmer appears behind the video screen (on which the NewsBreaks have been shown), and the audience's attention is drawn there. Suddenly, FLASH! A blinding white light dazzles people's eyes, and murmurs of understanding are heard throughout the audience: now that they have been flashed by Pinky's Photonic Virus Activator, they are expected to go out and develop/maintain high moral character, be helpful, unselfish, altruistic, polite, and so forth. The house lights slowly come up and. . .